We live in a busy world.

We live in a loud world.

And these things don't make the world bad. I love how life always moves and always speaks, for work creates beauty, and words give love. But I discovered this week that I need more than satisfying schedules and gratifying words.

This week I discovered the beauty of silence.



 I sat on my bed last Sunday afternoon, tired from trying, ready to keep trying, and trusting in Jesus. (Yes, I feel the confusion going on here.) Sunday brings me so much joy, and usually prayers bloom out of me during the long afternoon, but last Sunday, I couldn't find the energy to form words. And I didn't feel the need to say them.

And so I just sat there with Jesus. I reminded myself of His wonderful character and believed in my identity in Him. I didn't say anything. I didn't go through the list of prayer requests I built into my mind. I didn't mentally work through all of the events and thoughts from the past week. I just sat there.

It was enough to stay silent in Jesus' presence.

I imagined that the disciples sat with Jesus in silence many a night. I can see them sitting around a fire at night, their feet sore from a long day, their minds unable to grasp Who sat with them, and their hearts full of questions about the day, about the journey, and about Jesus. I can feel them start to utter these complaints, doubts, and questions when they stop. They look at Jesus. And they decide that it is simply enough to sit in silence for tonight.



I've gone a long time thinking that I needed to express every thought, write every idea, and pray with complete sentences. When I drive alone, I turn on the music. When I shower, I pray through the prayer requests I've stored up for the day. When I sit in my room, I'm always thinking, planning, and processing out loud, or at least with loud thoughts. I didn't develop the habit of staying quiet every now and then to sit with Jesus and examine my soul.

But after the silence of Sunday, my soul feels a bit more. My heart beats a bit more. And my mind rests a bit more. Sitting with Jesus changed the way I thought about life. For after that afternoon, I realized that I didn't have to come before God with many words or a focused heart. I could give Him my silence with just as much worship as I give Him my song. I could give Him my confused, tired, and trying heart with joy rather than shame.



The silence in my soul is a welcoming place now. And God wants to move in your silent moments as well. Will you take the challenge with me over the next few days to set aside five minutes (give or take, because we will not be legalistic about this) daily to simply sit with Jesus in silence? Will you turn off your phone, stop dwelling on those thoughts that never seem to leave, and start reminding yourself of Who God is and who you are in Him? Will you come to Him as you are, knowing that He is enough? Will you learn to welcome the mystery of vacancy and the wonder of the quiet minutes?

As I finish this post, sitting in the silence, I feel content and thankful. Not because I had a great day, not because I have it all together, and not because I feel spectacular about things. I don't. But I know that Jesus is with me and loves me right now in the silence. And that is enough.

Comment below if you have ever sat in silence. Also, I know our lives are so busy and loud, but can you share a recent moment where God broke through and showed grace in little or big ways?

Thank-you so much for reading my heartbeat today!

Princess Hannah

"Enjoy the little things, but never forget the big picture."

So there's a lot of movies that I've never seen. We all have those movies that we always meant to watch but never got around to watching. Or for me, I never watched the movies that my younger sisters couldn't watch, which limits things. But this year, I'm making a list. It's official, I'm gunna watch some of those movies that I've been putting off for forever!

There's something that my heart is bursting to tell you. It's a truth buried underneath my skin, ignited in all of our hearts, and whispering to us in the quiet moments and the loud memories of life. This truth brings with it freedom, grace, purpose, and humility. It welcomes us into something bigger than us and yet it is here. Now. 

They say times, flies, and I would agree. But for for me for in 2015, time danced. It danced to a changing tune of growing up, to the captivating sounds of NYC streets, to the soft melodies of challenges and slowness, to the exciting beats of friendship and family, and to the familiar tune of Jesus' grace transforming everything.

It danced with vigor and speed. It danced with grace and beauty. It danced with mystery and a touch of sadness. But it danced, and I wouldn't redo 2015; I wouldn't take it out of the choreography of the dance God plans for my life.

Looking back, I realize that so many things happened this year. It makes me so happy to think of them all that, with the help of the lilting backdrop of the Cinderella soundtrack, I might cry! God did so much this year, and because I love lists, here's 15 things that changed me a bit in 2015 (in my best chronological order):



1. In 2015 I failed my first audition. Before I thought much about going to New York for ballet, I wanted to go to Houston Ballet. But God had other plans; He knew best, and even though I felt pretty bad about messing up those pirouettes, I rejoice for the experience!


2. In 2015 I started truly blogging! I didn't realize how much I would love writing out these posts and interacting with so many wonderful people! I didn't know how much work and time a blog took, how much dedication and editing I needed to make it look nice and reach out to people. But through blogging the past few months, I've learned how to have eyes that see. I see so many more opportunities to interact with God's grace in everything! The theme of this blog probably impacted me more than anyone who read my posts!



3. In 2015 I fell on stage for the first time. But what I didn't realize at the time of the fall was how many times I would be able to give God the glory through that experience! It really blew my mind how such a simple story like a fall on stage could go so many place. First, I shared it with people who came to my recital, then to you guys on the blog, then to many dancers who didn't know Jesus this summer, and also to fellow local dancers. And each time I had the opportunity to share God's grace at work in what would normally be a bad situation.



4. In 2015 I started a Bible study that I'd dreamed of for a while. I had this idea of high school girls mentoring and befriending middle school girls even while the younger girls inspire the older girls. And so I helped get the ball rolling for this great time together, which is still making an impact under my sister's leadership! But this just showed me how sometimes we just need to go and do these brave, new ideas. Faith is paired with action.



5. In 2015 I graduated high school! I felt pretty excited to move on to the next chapter of life and had so much fun going to my last youth group camp as a camper, taking senior pics, going to senior prom, and throwing my best party yet!


6. In 2015 I flew to and stayed in New York for six weeks! This made my year. AAB grew me and gave me much more confidence in life and Christ. And NYC can't be described adequately in this short space, so just read this post if you missed it. I made so many memories this summer that I won't forget quickly, like sharing the gospel at two in the morning to a girl who lives in South Africa and walking into Times Square at one in the morning to be greeted by so many lights and promises of another great day in the city.



7. In 2015 I realized the difference between "could" and "should." In ballet, I didn't dream much of dancing professionally. I think that God just doesn't want that for me, but sometimes I feel like because I could have gone for it that I should have gone for it. Many people around me this summer planned on going so many places with ballet, but I just wanted to teach ballet in my hometown. I felt like I wasted my potential, like I disappointed everyone, including myself. I questioned my decisions in 2015, especially when I got encouragement and challenges from AAB, but I feel confident that God is leading me on the path that I chose. Because winning in life doesn't mean winning according to the world. There is something greater in the world than success.



8. In 2015 I went new places. Namely, NYC. But I also went to concerts, the beach, movies, parties, and many other new and exciting places.



9. In 2015 I started college! I expected it to be harder actually. I think that I'm ready to start really loving college now that I've learned a bit of the ropes. The first semester went by with new friendships, new schedules, and a bit of learning. Now I'm excited for what the other semesters will bring!


10. In 2015 I continued to learn about friendships. Friendships take work. Sometimes I want to give up and just wait for friends to find me, but I fought that temptation this year and started cultivating more friendships. It took time, texts, and tears, but this year brought hope and laughter, some beginnings of what I hope to be wonderful friendships!


11. In 2015 I went in the direction God planned for me. I already talked a bit about this, but I decided not to go off to some expensive school for ballet but to stay at home. And I also decided to switch my major from business to mass communications, and I will have to wait to see how I like that. But I do think that God placed all of these things in order, and I trust Him. I want to follow Him.


12. In 2015 I actually went to football games! Yes, I went to football games, and this is kind of a new thing for me. I only went to two football games during high school, one local college game and one NFL game, but I loved the experience of going to the games, cheering on my team, and being with fun friends!


13. In 2015 I thought more. I am so thankful for a mind ready to learn and a heart that searches for the truth! God gave me such a gift in those things, and this year I made even more connections about the Bible and more thoughts about life. In 2016 I want to take even more advantage of the resources around me and continue to grow in knowledge and truth!



14. In 2015 I finished my first semester of college with a 4.0! The ease of college surprised me, and although I don't expect it to stay that way, I am glad that it didn't start with many challenges. With this first semester done, I feel ready to start embracing college!

15. In 2015 God did some pretty amazing things, but now, at the end of the holidays, I'm reminded that the greatest thing that "I" did this year, I didn't even do! The greatest achievement of 2015 is that God was in me, with me. Immanuel!

It's the first day of 2016, a year full of promise and uncertainty, 365 days lying ahead, waiting and developing into their time. Some people fear this beginning with the looming future and unknown factors it may bring, and others put on this forced sense of welcome for the hope put in temporary things and soon-forgotten resolutions. I too feel the weight of time, the yearning for something bigger than visits to the gym and a more organized life. I want to do so much, but time limits me. Time. Time. Time.

But I look at this year, and I strain to see something invisible. I look at 2016 and I search for a hope put into something unseen: the Bigger Story.



Let's try for a moment, at the beginning of this small year, to imagine the Story of Glory unfolding even now, though it is so much bigger than now. Close your eyes for a moment and forget all of the plans, questions, doubts, and excitement that usually occupy your thoughts. Remember the Story.

It didn't start in the beginning or "once upon a time," for it began before the beginning, before even the creation of time. It started with God.

And God wrote this Story, writes this Story.  He created time, humans, and a system so complex that, even after thousands of years, we've only scratched the surface of understanding it. For "in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." (Genesis 1:1) And "God saw all that he has made, and it was very good." (Genesis 1:31)

But we must remember that God was before that beginning. He knew before the beginning. And He loved us before the beginning of time itself. For God is greater than time.

"A thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night." (Psalm 90:4, and while you're at in, please go and read the rest of this wonderful Psalm, today!)

But we know what happened next. Sin. The Fall. Death. Time ripened this darkness, which bread in the created world of time, waiting. Waiting for the light of mankind to come into the darkness, waiting for the light greater than darkness to reign victorious, waiting for the appointed time.

"The true light that give light to everyone was coming into the world." (John 1:9)

Jesus. Immanuel. God with us, come to save and to bring Himself more glory. Jesus Christ turned the Story's direction and furthered the purpose of time, and we now see in glimpses this purpose, which is the gospel (1 Corinthians 13:12). It is the Story of God's glory and grace through the gospel. It is the Story written on our hearts and created in this world and yet greater than anything created.

"He has saved us and called us to a holy life- not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given to us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel." (2 Timothy 1:9-10)

And now comes 2016.

Yes, it will hold many wonderful and challenging things. Big events and little changes will happen over the year, and we will probably look back and marvel at all that it held and all that God did. But I don't want to let my sight see only this year, for my story is in a much bigger Story than 2016. Your story goes far beyond one year too if you make your story His Story.

And so let's look unto the One who never wonders at what a new year will bring and never forgets what He promises. Let's fix our vision on the One who holds the world in His hand and created time itself. This year, let's resolve to stay inside the resolve of the One whose purpose goes outside of one year.

This won't always make sense, this trust in the invisible and hope in the incomprehensible. This year will give us all many chances to do things in light of more than just 2016, and these eternal-minded decisions will baffle the world. But let's not make resolutions for just 2016, let's follow the One whose resolutions last for all eternity, resolutions which only gather more and more momentum and glory. For His Story rumbles throughout time, echoing a glory that exceeds what we can see or can even begin to imagine.

Let's rejoice in 2016, a small part of the greatest tale ever told: His Story. But let us not forget eternity.

Happy New Years!

Princess Hannah