Do you take hundreds of photos of random objects against a white background? Are your friends tired of you forcing them to take 25 carefully posed candid pictures? Do you spend more than 15 minutes editing a picture before you post it? Do you regularly go back and delete Instagram posts that no longer fit your aesthetic?

If you answered yes to some of these questions, you may have a condition known as Compulsion Aesthetic Disorder. It is a disorder where you feel a compulsion to made a perfect Instagram feed that may or may not represent your life.

You are not alone, though. It is a disorder that affects many people in the digital world, especially young girls, especially young bloggers.

Do not worry, though; this disorder is treatable! With diligence and confidence, you can reclaim your life from Compulsion Aesthetic Disorder.

Take Instagains today, and free yourself from Compulsion Aesthetic Disorder.












Medicine blurb silliness aside, I want to get real with y'all all about Instagram, how it affects our perception of life, and what we can do about it. Although I completely made up Compulsive Aesthetic Disorder, it is a very prominent tenancy among our generation and something that I struggle with as well.

You see, I want to have a beautiful, clean, fun Instagram profile. I want to post engaging, pretty content, and I spend a lot of time to produce that content.

But what if I, and perhaps you, have it wrong? What if the aesthetic doesn't matter as much as the authenticity? What if there is more meaning in imperfection than perfection?

So I want to give us three challenges when facing the struggles of seeking that perfect aesthetic for Instagram.

1. Examine before editing

How many times have we gone straight to the fixing-up process of posting on Instagram without examining how this photo expresses our lives and influences the lives of others? How many times did we post a pretty picture just because we needed a pretty picture to fill our feed? (I'm guilty.) This verse will bring some conviction to us!

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." -Ephesians 4:29

This counts for Instagram too, gals.

2. Share a story, not a stock photo

I look back on my Instagram account and sometimes think that it looks too messy. Each picture has a lot going on and doesn't "match" the feed, but I wouldn't have it any other way. You see, every picture is rich with a story, even if it's as simple as a beautiful sunset or a a throwback to summer camp. I try not to share something because it will fit my aesthetic; I share because I want to share a story with people and Instagram helps me do that. (Not that I am perfect in doing this at all.) The world, however, tries to get us to think solely of our aesthetic. 

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:16

3. Remember before deleting

It baffles me when people delete all of their posts so that they can start a new aesthetic. There is a time and place for deleting photos, but I haven't found it for me yet. I look at old pictures and marvel at how I've grown. I see lessons that I learned. I see embarrassing things, yes, but that was me. I want people to see me, even bored me at 16.

Today, I challenge you to examine your Instagram and more importantly the heart behind why you share the way you do. I don't want us to lose the heart of our story to get hearts. I don't want our feeds to foster envy more than delight.

This is NOT to say that you shouldn't post pretty things. I am not recommending that you never post a styled post again or a posed candid picture. I also don't expect every picture to contain a blog post's worth of content. These things are good and fun, but I don't want us to get into the mindset that the aesthetic is more valuable than the authenticity or that we much appear to look like we have it all together.

This is a fine balance, and I don't pretend to have it all figured out, but will you join me on making our Instagram accounts beautiful again? Will you join me in seeking to find an aesthetic that is less aesthetic-y and more authentic?

Comment below your thoughts on Instagram. If you have a different view, then please share! I in no way impose my view upon you, and for different people, different Instagram outlooks work better than this one. I love all of your Instagrams, and if I'm not following you, drop your handles in the comments! Also, feel free to check out the profiles that inspired this post: my personal Instagram at @princesshannahp and the blog's Instagram at @graceineverythingblog.

Princess Hannah

why do we call it hopeless,

Can I be honest here?

Raw.

Open.

Plain and simply Hannah. 

Sometimes (most of the time) my life doesn't look worthy of Instagram. I mean, I struggled for wayyy too long to even structure my own Instagram (follow Grace in Everything here), let alone make every part of my life look like that!

Sometimes (most of the time) my prayers are scattered and whispered heartbeats because I've lost the ability to make words.

Sometimes (most of the time) I feel too busy to slow down and take life in.

Sometimes (most of the time) I let this busy-ness steal my joy. I let it steal my ability to form useful blog posts. I let it steal my thoughts, breathing, and withness. 

Sometimes (most of the time) I compare myself to others. Is she skinnier? Is he smarter? Is she a better blogger? 

Sometimes (most of the time) I feel a conflict of what I say and what I do.

Sometimes (most of the time) I feel inadequate.

But guess what? There is hope in these sometimes (most of the time) moments. There is a hope that is stronger than death, larger than life, greater than the forces of this world, and gentle with the strings of my heart. There is a hope that asks to be seen in the sometimes (most of the time) places, in the honest, plain, and simple. In the homework and frustrated drives. In the tears streaming forth because I don't want to grow up. In the tired eyes because I can't quite wake up.

There is hope.

Not a sometimes hope.

Not a most of the time hope.

An all of the time, until the end of time hope.

And beyond.

And this hope is not that I can do it or that it will all work out. This hope has actually nothing to do with me and everything to do with the glory of God, the sure and beautiful glory of God.

So when the sometimes (most of the time) moments drag you down, look up and take hope in the glory of God.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into the grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know what suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit." 

Romans 5:1-5

What are some of your sometimes (most of the time) moments? And how has God revealed His hope to you this beginning of the school year?

Princess Hannah

source

dive into the Word. 

what does that even mean?

do i dive like an Olympian,

with fancy twists?

bends?

jumps?

spins?

is there a judge

on the other side

qualifying my worthiness

to enjoy God's Word?

or do i dive because

that's the fastest way.

i need my mind

cleansed,

refocused.

and since diving goes head first

i dive.

since I am cold,

dirty,

tired

up here on the diving board,

anxious that i'll go in the

wrong way,

i will simply dive.

submerge.

get swallowed up in the

blurry water of grace

found in Your Word.

because i need You, Jesus,

because i love You,

i dive in

not counting on how i get there

but counting fully upon

there. 

You. You, Jesus, are there. 

You invite me to come,

not with a perfect heart,

creative soul,

attentive mind,

quiet body.

You invite me to come

because You know my

soul is thirsty and

You are the Living Water.

i'm diving in.



Princess Hannah

                                                     I am afraid.

Afraid that the world is moving too fast.

Afraid that I chose wrong.

Afraid that I'm missing the point.

And this fear makes me sick.

It makes me sad.

It makes me feel trapped in a room with no escape.

But then, look!

Look up and see a Light.

Fix your eyes on that Light,

Never let it go.

Let it be your guide,

Your hope.

Your vision.

Let this Light fill you with love,

A perfect love that drives out fear.

For this Light has conquered sin,

It reigns over darkness.

It is with me. 

And so the darkness isn't as dark anymore,

Because I'm holding onto the Light,

Holding on with all that I have.

And the fear, well it can't get close,

For as soon as it does,

The Light vanquishes it.



"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Let us consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men that you may not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:2-3)

I've been thinking a lot about fear this week, so head on over to my newest Odyssey article to read my thoughts. Also, say a prayer for me as I move into the dorms and start this next year of challenging and wonderful adventures! And comment below how I can specifically pray for you.

Princess Hannah

My words have been coming slowly as of late.

Or perhaps my mind pushes them out of the way.

I can't fully blame my schedule, family, or situation. For somehow I trapped the words inside, and their song dulled down. Down, down, down. Later, later, later.

But words never die. They rarely remain silent for long. They may go underground for a spell, but this makes them grow stronger roots for the upcoming blossom.

My words are blooming forth again, I can feel it.

Your body doesn't quite remember what it feels like to move because you've been laying down reading for so long. Your head aches with the overload of words, but you don't want to stop turning pages, flipping through chapters, finishing books.

But the stomach knows best and calls you up. You feel a bit dizzy when standing upright. The shock of coming back into the real world wakes you up too quickly. You left part of yourself behind in between the binding and the covers, in the world of the impossible.

Because it was a reading day. A glorious, adventuring reading day.

Some people may call this madness, others may call it heaven. But really, is there much of a difference? Maybe heaven is a glorious mystery of impossibilities and head-spinning truths waiting for us. Maybe pieces of heaven can be found in a good book (most of all THE good book, the Bible).

I've always loved to read. From fairy tales and American Girl as a little girl to Ella Enchanted and Jane Austen later on, I would spend hours under the blankets with nothing but a book and a peaceful afternoon.


But then things changed. I started getting busy. My days filled with school, ballet, family, and more. I started spending more time writing, thinking, and studying God's Word. As my mind flew from one thing to do to the next, I forgot the feeling of reading. I forgot the joy of being overloaded with words.

I do not call busy-ness bad. I do not want to avoid work or productivity, in fact, I embrace it. Hard work and full schedules are an integral part of the life God's given us to live on earth. And so I do not regret how I abandoned reading for the past couple of years. Well, not a lot. In that time of my life, I needed to learn how to work hard. I needed to learn how to adjust to the new aspects of life, and that took all of my sanity, concentration, and time. I couldn't give as much of it to books.

But I'm ready to come home. I'm ready to lose my mind again to the wonder of words. I'm ready to read again.

Reading may not be the most productive thing to do. Reading may not be the most logical thing to do. But reading is good for my soul. Reading is peace for my mind. And reading is rest for my body. I'm ready.

I've already started this journey home by spending a few afternoons just reading, something that I haven't done in ages. The rain danced outside as I delved into The Help. Quiet filled the room full of sleeping campers as I turned many pages. Everyone sat around the living room Sunday afternoon as I picked up Winter to read a chapter or two.

Or the whole book.

Because, it's Winter. fdskalfsjlfnlksdnflksajfsdlkf. (Please comment if you understand my excitement in the form of attacking a keyboard.)

These afternoons refreshed me more than I understood. They reminded me of who I am and how much I've changed from that little girl under the covers with a book. These changes aren't bad but are for God's glory! But I'm still Hannah. I'm still the girl who read all of the Nancy Drew books the library owned. I'm still the girl who had to go the bookstore on the second week of her summer trip because she ran out of books. I'm still the girl who writes her own stories. I'm still that girl, even if my use of time has changed and my place in life is different and always changing.

Hello, book world. I've missed you. But I'm coming home.



With all of that said, I NEED BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS!!!!!! Right now I'm reading The Help and some nonfiction books (a post about my newfound love for nonfiction coming soon). Next up is Anne of Green Gables, but after that... THE POSSIBILITIES!!!!

I'd like to say that I'm not picky, but that's not true. I love all kinds of books, but my moods like to swing around and pick random things. Therefore, I ask for ALL of the favorites. Fantasy. Mystery. Historical. Christian. Contemporary. I'd love to read something kinda quirky and unique. Obviously, good writing is key. Once I learned how to write my own book, my standards became much higher.

Anyways, I know that y'all will bombard me with a plethora of fantabulous books, and so I send my thanks you way. Comment books (obs), but also if you have struggled with finding time to read. How do you enjoy a good book even in the midst of a busy life? I really could use all of the suggestions. 

(Also, check out my newest Odyssey post: To the Reader Too Busy to Read!)

Thanks bunches, and God's grace be with you,

Princess Hannah

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I love to write. Y'all know this already, of course, but I now share my writing with a bit more of the world through writing in The Odyssey. The Odyssey is an online newspaper of sorts for colleges around the country. I write once a week for their platform and share my articles on social media. The local article with the most views and shares receives $20, but I don't plan on writing on order to make money. (Not to say I wouldn't enjoy 20 bucks.) 

One word. That is all that it took, and I felt a breath, a light, a freedom that I didn't dare believe. The demons that wrecked my body rushed out at that word, and a new hope filled me, overcame me, poured over me.