"Renew," I thought in January as I mediated on what word I would focus on this next year. "That is the word." 
"The Lord is an everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 

I'm afraid of being busy.

I get anxious when I don't think I will be able to get everything done that needs to get done. I feel overwhelmed when I look at a color-coated planner with a rainbow of words across every inch of space.


Perhaps you are afraid of being busy, too. Perhaps the demands of life seek to wash over you. Perhaps you, too, struggle with enjoying God's work for you today instead of just anticipating the weekend.

If so, I have some encouragement for you today.



This past semester has been, in a word, busy. I had four jobs, school, church, family, and other things like cleaning my room, showering, and necessary parts of life. People often asked me if I had time to sleep or have a social life. I didn't.


I faced my fear of busyness all semester, and it was rough. I can't say that I enjoyed it or handled it well, either. More often than not, you could have found me watching Friends in my spare minutes because I didn't want to try to think about anything. I tried to push my way through the tasks and deadlines, not really submitting to God or resting in the gospel. I didn't feel like I had time for that.




In the beginning of the year, I focused on a word and quality of God for 2019. The quality of God is faithful and the word is renew. I rejoice now in seeing how God prepared me for this season of busyness with those two words.

For in my unfaithfulness during this busy season, God proved Himself faithful. When I faltered, He was unfaltering. When I gave up, He pressed on. When I numbed my mind with Netflix, God stayed close, reminding me of Himself.


"If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is." (2 Tim. 2:13)

He is not going to leave us. He doesn't grow weary of us even when we grow weary of ourselves. This is really true! This is an eternal hope for our souls. He will remain faithful even if we are anything but faithful. That hope is not conditional upon our own behavior, feelings, or success, but solely upon Jesus. And Jesus never fails. 

In time of busy, it is important to remind ourselves that God holds our hand, even when our hands are full. He will never let go, for He is a faithful God. 



Not only is God faithful, but He renews us. Yes, there is abundant grace for us in overwhelming seasons, for God Himself is our hope and strength. He will renew our spirit.

As I thought about the word renew this past semester, I wanted it to apply to my own ability to get things done. But that is not what the renewal of God is about. No, He renews our minds so that we can see more clearly His will, which is what really matters. His renewal is one of hope, not that everything will go perfectly but that He will make everything perfect.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." (2 Cor. 4:16-17)



We are renewed in order to get a little closer to this glory, this surpassing beauty that outshines productivity and success and dreams come true. God renews our spirit not so that we can get chase our dreams but so that He may become our dream. 

And in this hope, in this vision of Jesus, we will also find strength to press forward with the challenges at hand, that we may glorify Jesus through hard work and joyful spirits.

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Col. 3:17)



I'm not done facing my fear of being busy, but God has given me comfort, perspective, conviction, and practice in leaning into His faithfulness and depending upon His renewal. I hope that you discover in Him a love far greater than every fear, including the fear of being busy. 

Please leave a comment below with how you deal with busyness and what God has been revealing to you about this. 

Princess Hannah

P.S. PIVOT

"But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content"

1 Timothy 6:6-8

Contentment is hard. 

It is hard to be content when we have such big dreams. It's hard to be content when we've seen great things. It's hard to be content, for goodness sake, when Instagram reminds us daily how much we don't have. 

We don't have a boyfriend. We don't have that dream closet. We don't have that amazing testimony. We don't have those spectacular experiences. 

When I look back at this year (especially last spring), I see a lot of discontentment. 

Why? 

Because I wanted to be back in Disney. I wanted to be off on the next adventure off to NYC or Europe. I wanted to be somewhere else.

Oh, so very badly. 



And so, to numb the discontentment, I pursued aimlessness. Pursue is too strong of a verb. I resorted to aimlessness.

I think that I mistook that aimlessness, that complacency, for contentment. I deceived myself into contentment, not because I found my contentment in something greater than Disney or adventures, but because I ignored my troubles and blocked out the discontent thoughts with media, busyness, and temporary fixes. 

 I settled. Settled for a dulled soul and distracted mind. Instead of facing my disappointment and shortcomings, I went on Instagram and browsed pictures of Disney. Instead of puzzling out my thoughts and talking to God, I planned the future and dwelt on what might come. 

That's not contentment, not godly contentment. 



What is godly contentment, then? 

I believe godly contentment to be satisfaction in Jesus, untainted by our circumstances. Contentment is to find joy in Jesus in times of excitement, plenty, normality, or struggles. Contentment is much more about Jesus than it is about what we do or do not have. 

I also find that contentment leads to action. Because contentment focuses on the sufficiency of Christ, it will lead us to follow Christ's ways and kingdom. Contentment isn't sitting still and feeling good about our place in life. Contentment is standing up, no matter how hard it is, and living in a way that worships Jesus. It is a life of action, not reaction. 

"Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith."

1 Timothy 6:11-12



I can't help but think of the scene in The Incredibles where Helen realizes that Bob is not on a business trip. She assumes that he's off with some other women and starts to melt in tears and self-pity.

Edna Mode, then, hits Helen on the head with a rolled up newspaper.

"Go, confront the problem. Fight! Win!"

After living in Disney for almost five months, I came home this week.
I already miss Disney.

People often ask me how I liked my experience at Disney. I'm never sure how to reply. How can I contain in one small-talk appropriate sentence how exciting and challenging and wonderful and lovely and hard and, well, magical my experience at Disney was? Where do I start? How can I finish?

I usually just reply with something simple, something like, "It was magical- everything and more."

In between each of those words, however, is a plethora of stories and moments. That sentence bursts at the seams with emotions and light and friendships. It is a true sentence, but it is much more.

If I could give a longer answer, though, it would go something like this:



It brought excitement into my life. 



I am a homebody. I didn't go away to college. I don't just love independence and adventure. My perfect afternoon involves cats, coffee, and Netflix.

Disney changed that. Suddenly, I lived on my own in a huge and adventurous world. Epcot was literally in my backyard. Animal Kingdom was within my reach on any day. I didn't have school or necessary engagements or pre-existing rhythms to tie me down.

I could do whatever I wanted.

So I learned how to fly.

Okay, so I didn't fly (much), but I did learn the art of spontaneity and adventure. I found joy in abandoning the systematic way of living and letting each day unfold with beauty.


It challenged me. 


Whereas the independence of Disney gave me lots of opportunities to have fun, it also presented some challenges. It was hard for me, a girl who lived with my parents most of my life, to do things like cook all of my meals, buy all of my groceries, and balance the craziness of life in a new city. I was thrown into an adult world- one with a very good escape place, though- Walt Disney World.


It showed me love.

I treasure the friendships that I made throughout the program. In a place where no one knows anyone else, no one knows what they're doing, and no one wants to be alone, friendships happened very quickly. Everywhere I went, I made friends and saw friends. It surprised me how often I'd run into someone I knew in a place as large as Disney World.

The deepest friendships that I made throughout the program made the whole experience magical. These friends made me laugh at 4:00 a.m. after getting off of a shift. They made the holidays away from home merry. They helped me understand what friendship really is.


It made me wonder. 


Disney made me wonder what different paths of my life would look like. It made me wonder at other people's stories. It gave me wonder for different cultures. Disney produced in me wonder at the grace of God and the faithfulness of the gospel. Disney made my heart wonder in joy at the bonds of family and friends.

With open eyes and a joyful heart, Disney taught me a way of wonder- both the questioning kind and the awe-inspired kind.


It made me work hard. 

In case you thought that the Disney College Program was a giant vacation, think again. We all work very hard. CPs get the worst and often the longest hours of any Cast Member. This means working long days into the wee hours of the morning, even on the holidays. A very typical shift for me started at 17:00 and ended at 2:00 (yes, we use military time).

The job itself wasn't always easy and fun, but it taught me how to genuinely care about my work and how it affected the guests. It taught me to put aside my personal problems for the sake of the guests.


It opened my eyes to magic.


Here's the part where I cry when typing out this post. Living in and working for Walt Disney World showed me magic. The magic of stories, love, togetherness, quality, imagination, drive, and a little bit of pixie dust.

Being able to call Magic Kingdom my home means the world to me. Being a small part of hundreds of thousands of vacations makes me smile! Working for Mickey Mouse will forever be one of my most magical experiences, one that I will treasure forever.



So, yes, Disney was magical- everything and more.

Princess Hannah

p.s.- many more Disney posts are to come. In fact, the whole month of January is dedicated to updating y'all on my Disney Adventure! Comment below anything you'd like to know more about. And thank you all for supporting me on this journey!

God is trustworthy.  He never fails to deserve our complete and joyful trust. His ways are perfect; there is no flaw in them.

"I just want to be okay."

Do you take hundreds of photos of random objects against a white background? Are your friends tired of you forcing them to take 25 carefully posed candid pictures? Do you spend more than 15 minutes editing a picture before you post it? Do you regularly go back and delete Instagram posts that no longer fit your aesthetic?

If you answered yes to some of these questions, you may have a condition known as Compulsion Aesthetic Disorder. It is a disorder where you feel a compulsion to made a perfect Instagram feed that may or may not represent your life.

You are not alone, though. It is a disorder that affects many people in the digital world, especially young girls, especially young bloggers.

Do not worry, though; this disorder is treatable! With diligence and confidence, you can reclaim your life from Compulsion Aesthetic Disorder.

Take Instagains today, and free yourself from Compulsion Aesthetic Disorder.












Medicine blurb silliness aside, I want to get real with y'all all about Instagram, how it affects our perception of life, and what we can do about it. Although I completely made up Compulsive Aesthetic Disorder, it is a very prominent tenancy among our generation and something that I struggle with as well.

You see, I want to have a beautiful, clean, fun Instagram profile. I want to post engaging, pretty content, and I spend a lot of time to produce that content.

But what if I, and perhaps you, have it wrong? What if the aesthetic doesn't matter as much as the authenticity? What if there is more meaning in imperfection than perfection?

So I want to give us three challenges when facing the struggles of seeking that perfect aesthetic for Instagram.

1. Examine before editing

How many times have we gone straight to the fixing-up process of posting on Instagram without examining how this photo expresses our lives and influences the lives of others? How many times did we post a pretty picture just because we needed a pretty picture to fill our feed? (I'm guilty.) This verse will bring some conviction to us!

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." -Ephesians 4:29

This counts for Instagram too, gals.

2. Share a story, not a stock photo

I look back on my Instagram account and sometimes think that it looks too messy. Each picture has a lot going on and doesn't "match" the feed, but I wouldn't have it any other way. You see, every picture is rich with a story, even if it's as simple as a beautiful sunset or a a throwback to summer camp. I try not to share something because it will fit my aesthetic; I share because I want to share a story with people and Instagram helps me do that. (Not that I am perfect in doing this at all.) The world, however, tries to get us to think solely of our aesthetic. 

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:16

3. Remember before deleting

It baffles me when people delete all of their posts so that they can start a new aesthetic. There is a time and place for deleting photos, but I haven't found it for me yet. I look at old pictures and marvel at how I've grown. I see lessons that I learned. I see embarrassing things, yes, but that was me. I want people to see me, even bored me at 16.

Today, I challenge you to examine your Instagram and more importantly the heart behind why you share the way you do. I don't want us to lose the heart of our story to get hearts. I don't want our feeds to foster envy more than delight.

This is NOT to say that you shouldn't post pretty things. I am not recommending that you never post a styled post again or a posed candid picture. I also don't expect every picture to contain a blog post's worth of content. These things are good and fun, but I don't want us to get into the mindset that the aesthetic is more valuable than the authenticity or that we much appear to look like we have it all together.

This is a fine balance, and I don't pretend to have it all figured out, but will you join me on making our Instagram accounts beautiful again? Will you join me in seeking to find an aesthetic that is less aesthetic-y and more authentic?

Comment below your thoughts on Instagram. If you have a different view, then please share! I in no way impose my view upon you, and for different people, different Instagram outlooks work better than this one. I love all of your Instagrams, and if I'm not following you, drop your handles in the comments! Also, feel free to check out the profiles that inspired this post: my personal Instagram at @princesshannahp and the blog's Instagram at @graceineverythingblog.

Princess Hannah

"I'll be sure to add three writers by the end of the week."

"I'll get the team's articles edited by Saturday."

"Can I take responsibility for the social media accounts for this ministry?"

"I'm starting a girl's community group!"

"Sure, I'll help you with your research paper."

"I'll bring the twins home tonight."

"Can I film a documentary here?"

"I'll choreograph the dance for next week."

Chip, chip.



~~~~~~~~


12:30 a.m.- I've got plenty of time to edit these stories for my creative writing class.

1:30 a.m.- I can't keep my eyes open any more. Why do I keep staying up this late? Why is there still more work to do? I don't think that I can move, but I haven't brushed my teeth.

2:15 a.m.- Stupid thoughts, stop bothering me. I know that it's late, but I'll go to bed earlier tomorrow.

Tomorrow- ha.

Chip, chip. 


~~~~~~~~


"Thanks for letting me sit by you," I told a girl I just met that day at lunch. For never having talked before, we talked about a lot of things, from school to movies to church to family.

"You know," she said, "for this entire semester, I've never had anyone I didn't know just come and eat with me."

"Really? I do it all the time."

"That's cool."

Yes, I thought. It is pretty cool. I thought back to the handful of times that the little lunchtime conversations I pursued turned into something that gave God glory. It enboldened me every time I was tempted to simply sit with my phone over lunch. Sure, it was easier to catch up on Instagram or schoolwork, but kingdom work is so much cooler.

Chip, chip. 


~~~~~~~~


"We never see you anymore, Hannah," someone said. Well, more than one person said that this semester.

"I have a weird schedule." One that invloves staying up until 2:00 and sleeping in until 9:00. One that has a lot of school and work and ballet and not a lot of friendships.

"I've got to go, sorry I can't stay."

Chip, chip. 


~~~~~~~~


"You don't seem as happy this semester," Mom said one night as I talked about the stress of getting everything done before Monday.

"I don't?" The thought surprised me. I didn't feel unhappy. Just busy. And busy isn't bad. This is the prime of my life, and I've been waiting so long for opportunities like the ones I'm accepting now. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that some of these opportunities blocked the sun from the flowers that I carefully planted in my life: flowers like friendship, blogging, and rest.

I couldn't stop the tears.

Chip, chip. 


~~~~~~~~



"This semester beat me up a bit," I said to a couple of friends this week as we gathered around a table at a Christmas party. The semester just ended, and lights glittered in the room hardly compared to the lights in our hearts as we contemplated six weeks with no school. 

"Same, girl," one of the girls replied, leaning back into her chair.

"Same," one of my roommates added.

 "I think it's because I isolated myself," I said, "Because I thought that I could get more done that way. I don't want to repeat that again."

Chip, chip. 


~~~~~~~~



This is a picture of my nails at the moment. They are badly chipped, wearing away and pretty hideous. I should've taken the polish off two days after I painted them, but little things like that have slipped into the pile of less-important things to do, especially before and during finals.

So the weeks went by and life continued to chip nail polish off of my nails. I kept living.

There is something about chipped nails that give me a strange comfort. I know, this is very unlike me. I like to have everything together. My eyebrows must be on fleck. My homework must get a A. My spiritual life must be meaningful. But there is something refreshing about chipped nails. There is a freedom in remembering that I don't have to have everything together. There is a breath in remembering that I don't have to do it all, but what I am doing is more important than keeping up with my nails.

Because even if life is tiring, even if it chips at our nails, that doens't mean that life is bad. Busy doesn't equal bad, this I am learning. This semester I've been busier than ever before, but I've learned to embrace the busyness as well as the rest. We need both.

Life chipped at my nails, reminding me of the briefness of my time on earth and the smallness with which I can live on my own. I leanred how to do things and how not to do things. It took a toll, but it also left a little sparkle everwhere I went. Chip, chip. 

There is also a hope that my nails don't have to stay chipped forever. I don't have to busy myself all of the time. I don't have to isolate myself for long. Yes, these things may chip at my nails, this living may wear me down, but there is hope. There is hope that Jesus will take away the old and make us new.

"Because of the LORD's great love we are now consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion, therefore I will wait for him. The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young." (Lamantations 3:22-27)

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I think I'm going to paint my nails this weekend. I think I'm going to try life on a little differently going forward, and hopefully this includes more blogging than I was able to do this semester. I've learned. I've laughed. I've cried.  Thank you for being with me during the hectic seasons and peaceful season. And thanks most of all to Jesus, who is with me in all seasons.

Comment below if my ramblings made any sense! Also, catch me up on the blogging world. I've been rather absent as of late, so tell me all the news, even if it's only that you painted your nails last week.

God's grace be with you all,

Princess Hannah