Little did I know.
"Faithful," I thought in January as I prayed over what characteristic of God I would pay special attention to this year.
Little did I know.
"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will sour on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40 spoke to me in January as I pondered what verse to dwell on this year. It captivated me with it's demonstration of God's power and tenderness even in difficult circumstances or my inability.
Little did I know.
But God knew. He knew what He was doing when these words, characteristics, and verses came into my life in January. He was preparing me, showing me that He is in control.
For I, a youth, indeed grew weary, as I wrote about last time. But God didn't give up on my distracted and weary heart. He reminded me of the gospel even when I didn't want to hear it and has pulled my heart closer to Him.
I also stumbled and fell. Quite literally. Here's the story:
It always feels vulnerable to pray, "Your will be done." However, that was my prayer Recital 2019 morning as I drove to dress rehearsal. As I submitted to God in my car, moments before facing the rest of the day, I wondered if I truly meant "thy will be done." What if that meant breaking my foot, the worst case scenario on my mind?
Yet, with breaking my foot in mind, I knew that God was faithful and Jesus is better. I prayed again, "thy will be done."
Perhaps that's why, when my foot twisted on the first run through and I heard that snap, I felt a strange sort of peace. Perhaps that why, as I knew that I broke my foot, again, I felt prepared for this. God and I had already talked about this, and it was going to be okay.
That day was one of the hardest in my life, and I won't write that I didn't question God some and cry a lot. Facing three months of recovery daunted over me. All of my plans crumbled. Not to mention, the show must go on, and I wanted to be backstage to support my students, classmates, and faculty members. Without any time to process, I went back and faced hundreds of people who were concerned. I watched from the wings the show that I had been working on for many months.
Yet, through it was hard, God's peace never left me. It was so strange, so beyond me. I knew that God was faithful to bring me through that day and the hard days to follow. He would renew my strength even when I fell.
You see, God had prepared me for that moment since January.
And with my hope in him, I know that I will sour on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint, even if I am walking on one foot.
Our God is faithful and tender to us. He is the renewal of our strength, and my hope is that through His work in my life this past year, you will remember that He is also at work within your life, whether you can see that now or will see it revealed later.
Thank you for reading,
Hannah
I felt my Fatherlyness surge as you called me and shared your foot just broke. A mix of the urgency of the mission (get to you NOW) and my concern for your well being. I hurt thinking about how missing recital would hurt your beautiful heart. And I remembered that you've already done this dance foot brake thing. Yet your voice was calm and strong, and it made me think of the Heavenly Father, from whom we draw all strength.
ReplyDeleteAs a dad, I so want to fix things for my beloved. I'm sure our Heavenly Father wants this infinitely more. Since I'm not Him, I must rely on Him, and direct those in my charge to do the same: Trust in God. Get to know Him. He is Awesome - just look at creation. He is trustworthy - just look at Jesus at the Cross. He is victorious - the Tomb is Empty!
My heart surges with joy as I see you dig into trusting this God of ours! Oh, how He has blessed April and me with you!
Faith in God will carry us through. Your cast verse points to the God who not only is able, but who is faithful!
I could not be prouder of you, Princess Hannah (yes, I am holding back tears of joy as I type this...ok, one just slipped through).
#GoingJesusForever
Love, Daddy
Hannah, thanks so much for sharing this experience with us!! I've been going through something similar, and this encouraged me so much. I'll be praying for you during your recovery! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteJosie
Hannah, I'm forever amazed by your strength and grace. Having to go through this not once but twice is so difficult, but seeing you cling to Jesus through it all has been so beautiful to witness. I am so proud of you, and consider it such a blessing to know you. <3
ReplyDeleteThis is so incredibly amazing. Thank you for sharing it <333
ReplyDeleteHanne || losingthebusyness.wordpress.com
Thank you so much for sharing! His faithfulness is something that amazes me anew each day.
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