9/26/2015

Honestly Hannah

I tried starting this post too many times, but nothing seemed to work, so as I scrape every last molecule out of the peanut butter jar, I will jump right into it:

I'm honestly Hannah.

And honestly, I posed for this picture. But I still love it!

Honesty can evade me as a blogger. It's not like I tell lies, nor do I intentionally avoid the truth of the matter, but sometimes I get very good at pretending. I fool myself into thinking that I can do it all. I believe the lies of Satan that tell me that I must look perfect, and believing lies never leads to good things.

And so today I want to show you me. I invite you into the ways of honesty, not with a list of all the ways I stink, but with a real, silly, deep, and random list of Honestly Hannah facts. For I know no other way to dispel the lies than to stand in the truth, big and small truths alike.

I want to be real to all y'all reading this post. I want to encourage you, make you laugh, and form a community here that makes Jesus smile. But I can't do that without revealing myself, something I've found difficult to do. For I always thought that to say much about myself would waste your time, look selfish, and not benefit anyone, but maybe to show you me means to invite you into a role bigger than reader-of-a-blog. To show you me means to invite you, whoever reads this, into a friendship, an accountability partnership, and an encouraging family-ship in Christ.

This begins with honesty. Honesty is the platform of relationships, and I want to dedicate the rest of this post less to preach-y, long paragraphs that I so love to write and more to the simple truths of Hannah in hopes that you join with me in doing life together. (Although I can't promise no more preach-y paragraphs. I'm being honestly Hannah after all.)


-I am such a list person. Color-coded pens and check marks have always made me smile and oftentimes cry. Really, it's a love/hate relationship, but it must be part of who God made me to be, because I started the list-life before I can remember, jotting down misspelled Christmas list and organizing little childhood games. (Are you surprised that this post formats itself as a list?)

-Hannah Montana was my show as a girl. Maybe the mutual name fascinated me or the innocent glamour, but I loved the early seasons. I even bought a wig and dressed up as Hannah Montana for Halloween! No matter what Miley does, I will always remember her as the girl who would rock the stage and then turn around to say "sweet niblets." But I'm glad that my yearning to be famous just like Miley faded away. The truth is, we can never get the best of both worlds.


-I feel lonely sometimes. This haunts me at times and lingers in the back of my head at other times. Today I felt the stab of loneliness and couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my face. I've never experienced that group of people that I belong with, nor have many of my friendships lasted like I wanted them to. I really want college to change all of this, but fear tells me that I should prepare for the worst. Good thing that Grace Trumps Fear.

-I love cats. It's pretty straightforward, but I really am a cat person. My cat is the best, but of course, your cat is wonderful too (if you have a cat). (See pictures of my wonderful kitties here.)

-I stay up waayyy too late. In fact, the idea I once held of going to bed "early" tonight slowly faded away as this post came together. Somehow, the little things that define getting ready for bed gather up and slow me down. And the tireder I become, the more I hate going to bed. It's not a good cycle y'all. Not good at all. (Follow my newly-reused Twitter account here.)


-TV is my detox. When I need to escape lists and can't find other ways of pushing back my bedtime, TV comes to the rescue! Somehow, when I find someone who watches the same shows as I do, I feel much more connected, so in hopes that we share some common TV shows, here's the list (of course) in a tentative order of favorites:

Patrick Jane from The Mentalist petting a rabbit
  • Alias (so intriguing and a Netflix must)
  • Sherlock (what can I say?) 
  • Psych ("You know that's right")
  • Forever (I can still hope for season two, right?)
  • Once Upon  Time (I'm a sucker for fairytales)
  • Merlin (and medieval adventures)
  • The Mentalist (and shows that involve people who love tea and crimes)
  • The Blacklist (don't skip an episode)
  • Downton Abbey (I'll admit that I watch it for the costumes)
  • Agents of SHIELD (It says Marvel, I watch it)
  • I Love Lucy ("Lucy... you've got some 'splaining to do!") 
  • The Cosby Show (the 80s version of Blackish)
  • White Collar (the first show I marathoned) 

-I am a perfectionist. You probably already know this, but I struggle with perfectionism in every aspect of life. But in many areas, I can fake it. The difficulty in easily succeeding in many areas of life is that I consider success to be my identity. What am I if not an all As, skinniest girl in the room, perfect ballerina, creative blogger person that I should be? Perfectionism waits for me at every corner and I must look to Christ as my identity, but even that can become an evaluation point for me, a way for me to be perfectly dependent on Christ for the sake of my own achievement not Christ's glory.

-If it involves a ball (as in a spherical object that people throw at each other for some strange reason), count me out. I always thought that I wasn't a competitive person, and to an extent, I'm not. But I think that really, I just want to win. And if I know that I can't win, I don't play. And I will never win when it comes to sports, so I don't play (see the above point to make sense of this).

This is my kind of ball!


-Cinderella was my favorite Disney Princess (until Tangled came out). Two reasons: one, I wanted a different Disney Princess than my other family members, and Belle was already taken (plus Beauty and the Beast had the scary wolf scene), and two, she dressed up and went to a ball (as in the kind that involves fancy dresses and dancing), what's not to love? And the new remake stole my heart! (I reviewed it forever ago here.)

-I love to read, but I don't spend very much time reading. I used to read so many books, but as school and dance increased and my need to get things done also increased, I read less and less. I still read around 25 books a year, but not as many books as I would like. I think that I've let the fast-moving world take away my ability to just sit and read in the afternoon.

Pride and Prejudice

It is almost midnight, so I guess I should wrap this up (see point five). I will double-check this post tomorrow and add a picture or two (see point seven), and after I post it, I will look too often to check my page views and comments (see point seven and three). But I hope that this post helps you to connect more with me! There were so many things that I wanted to say when I started thinking of this post, but what I want most is for you and I to encourage each other and start to live honestly right where we are. Please comment below any random thought that came into your head while you read this post, something honestly you.

And I would also love it for any fellow bloggers to steal this idea and post their own Honestly posts. Let's start living in a community, girls! Let's impact each other in more meaningful ways than we can imagine, and this all starts with honesty.

Expect more Honestly Hannah posts in the future, as well as some other exciting things coming up!

Princess Hannah

8 comments:

  1. Girl, my heart goes out to you! Gosh, I can't tell you how happy this post made me, reading through your adorable quirks (I thought I was the only one who stayed up as late as I do...hahah!) and I'm just a tad bit obsessed with this post, your blog...everything you stand for. It's admirable. AND DOWNTOWN ABBEY, OUAT, AGENTS OF SHIELD, AND CINDERELLA are amazing. Totally in love with those rad shows/movie. Much, much love + hugs,

    Abbey Noelle ♥ ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for the comment! And thank you for encouraging me, because in honesty, I oftentimes wonder if this blogging thing will work out.

      I am totally not surprised that you love those shows, they just seem like you! OUAT TONIGHT!!!!!

      Delete
  2. Thank you so much Hannah for this post! It definitely encouraged me:) I can totally agree with you on the whole fact of being alone...I have some of the sweetest friends and love them to death but at the end of the day sometimes you still feel like it's only you (of course then you end up just lying in bed talking to Jesus and at times crying, but knowing that when you feel lonely he is always there). TV shows...what can I say they are the best!! Psych, OUAT, Forever (devastated about season 2), Agents of Shield, etc... I love reading post that are flat out honest and seeing into a bloggers heart! Thanks for your words!
    -Madison
    www.1minniemuse.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What you said in this comment greatly encouraged me. "...of course then you end up just lying in bed talking to Jesus and at times crying, but knowing that when you feel lonely he is always there..." just captures what I experience exactly! And my sister keeps telling me that there's still hope for Forever. It really was such a great show!

      Delete
  3. I think I may borrow this post idea, after I have two more pre-planned posts published. OUAT and Agents of SHIELD are just the best-- I've been trying to find time to watch the current season's first episode of the former because I haven't had time, at all. Cinderella is my third favorite princess, after Belle and Rapunzel! I just love Cinderella's story, Rapunzel's never-ending optimism and openness, and Belle, well, I can relate to her a lot and she was my favorite Disney Princess growing up.. :)

    xoxo Morning

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES, I can't wait to read your post about Honestly Morning!

      And I can't wait to see the new episode of OUAT tonight! Merida is coming!

      I love all of those Disney Princesses. My order would be Rapunzel, Cinderella, then Belle, but it's close!

      Delete
  4. I love everything about this post! Authenticity is magnetic. Being raw and real is something I really want for my blog too. You are such a unique person Hannah! Ugh I want to live in Lake Charles so I could hang out with you. I look forward to reading more of your honesty posts :)

    Also I love your caption on that first picture... "and honestly I posed for this picture" haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meaghan, thank-you! I mean it! Reading your comment made me excited to be a blogger! And I know, right! We vaguely knew each other for a while, but I feel like we could be friends too!

      You are doing such a great job with your blog, though! I need to double check that I've read the last post...

      Delete