Little did I know.
"Faithful," I thought in January as I prayed over what characteristic of God I would pay special attention to this year.
Little did I know.
"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will sour on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40 spoke to me in January as I pondered what verse to dwell on this year. It captivated me with it's demonstration of God's power and tenderness even in difficult circumstances or my inability.
Little did I know.
But God knew. He knew what He was doing when these words, characteristics, and verses came into my life in January. He was preparing me, showing me that He is in control.
For I, a youth, indeed grew weary, as I wrote about last time. But God didn't give up on my distracted and weary heart. He reminded me of the gospel even when I didn't want to hear it and has pulled my heart closer to Him.
I also stumbled and fell. Quite literally. Here's the story:
It always feels vulnerable to pray, "Your will be done." However, that was my prayer Recital 2019 morning as I drove to dress rehearsal. As I submitted to God in my car, moments before facing the rest of the day, I wondered if I truly meant "thy will be done." What if that meant breaking my foot, the worst case scenario on my mind?
Yet, with breaking my foot in mind, I knew that God was faithful and Jesus is better. I prayed again, "thy will be done."
Perhaps that's why, when my foot twisted on the first run through and I heard that snap, I felt a strange sort of peace. Perhaps that why, as I knew that I broke my foot, again, I felt prepared for this. God and I had already talked about this, and it was going to be okay.
That day was one of the hardest in my life, and I won't write that I didn't question God some and cry a lot. Facing three months of recovery daunted over me. All of my plans crumbled. Not to mention, the show must go on, and I wanted to be backstage to support my students, classmates, and faculty members. Without any time to process, I went back and faced hundreds of people who were concerned. I watched from the wings the show that I had been working on for many months.
Yet, through it was hard, God's peace never left me. It was so strange, so beyond me. I knew that God was faithful to bring me through that day and the hard days to follow. He would renew my strength even when I fell.
You see, God had prepared me for that moment since January.
And with my hope in him, I know that I will sour on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint, even if I am walking on one foot.
Our God is faithful and tender to us. He is the renewal of our strength, and my hope is that through His work in my life this past year, you will remember that He is also at work within your life, whether you can see that now or will see it revealed later.
Thank you for reading,
Hannah