"Renew," I thought in January as I mediated on what word I would focus on this next year. "That is the word." 
"The Lord is an everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 

I'm afraid of being busy.

I get anxious when I don't think I will be able to get everything done that needs to get done. I feel overwhelmed when I look at a color-coated planner with a rainbow of words across every inch of space.


Perhaps you are afraid of being busy, too. Perhaps the demands of life seek to wash over you. Perhaps you, too, struggle with enjoying God's work for you today instead of just anticipating the weekend.

If so, I have some encouragement for you today.



This past semester has been, in a word, busy. I had four jobs, school, church, family, and other things like cleaning my room, showering, and necessary parts of life. People often asked me if I had time to sleep or have a social life. I didn't.


I faced my fear of busyness all semester, and it was rough. I can't say that I enjoyed it or handled it well, either. More often than not, you could have found me watching Friends in my spare minutes because I didn't want to try to think about anything. I tried to push my way through the tasks and deadlines, not really submitting to God or resting in the gospel. I didn't feel like I had time for that.




In the beginning of the year, I focused on a word and quality of God for 2019. The quality of God is faithful and the word is renew. I rejoice now in seeing how God prepared me for this season of busyness with those two words.

For in my unfaithfulness during this busy season, God proved Himself faithful. When I faltered, He was unfaltering. When I gave up, He pressed on. When I numbed my mind with Netflix, God stayed close, reminding me of Himself.


"If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is." (2 Tim. 2:13)

He is not going to leave us. He doesn't grow weary of us even when we grow weary of ourselves. This is really true! This is an eternal hope for our souls. He will remain faithful even if we are anything but faithful. That hope is not conditional upon our own behavior, feelings, or success, but solely upon Jesus. And Jesus never fails. 

In time of busy, it is important to remind ourselves that God holds our hand, even when our hands are full. He will never let go, for He is a faithful God. 



Not only is God faithful, but He renews us. Yes, there is abundant grace for us in overwhelming seasons, for God Himself is our hope and strength. He will renew our spirit.

As I thought about the word renew this past semester, I wanted it to apply to my own ability to get things done. But that is not what the renewal of God is about. No, He renews our minds so that we can see more clearly His will, which is what really matters. His renewal is one of hope, not that everything will go perfectly but that He will make everything perfect.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." (2 Cor. 4:16-17)



We are renewed in order to get a little closer to this glory, this surpassing beauty that outshines productivity and success and dreams come true. God renews our spirit not so that we can get chase our dreams but so that He may become our dream. 

And in this hope, in this vision of Jesus, we will also find strength to press forward with the challenges at hand, that we may glorify Jesus through hard work and joyful spirits.

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Col. 3:17)



I'm not done facing my fear of being busy, but God has given me comfort, perspective, conviction, and practice in leaning into His faithfulness and depending upon His renewal. I hope that you discover in Him a love far greater than every fear, including the fear of being busy. 

Please leave a comment below with how you deal with busyness and what God has been revealing to you about this. 

Princess Hannah

P.S. PIVOT

"But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content"

1 Timothy 6:6-8

Contentment is hard. 

It is hard to be content when we have such big dreams. It's hard to be content when we've seen great things. It's hard to be content, for goodness sake, when Instagram reminds us daily how much we don't have. 

We don't have a boyfriend. We don't have that dream closet. We don't have that amazing testimony. We don't have those spectacular experiences. 

When I look back at this year (especially last spring), I see a lot of discontentment. 

Why? 

Because I wanted to be back in Disney. I wanted to be off on the next adventure off to NYC or Europe. I wanted to be somewhere else.

Oh, so very badly. 



And so, to numb the discontentment, I pursued aimlessness. Pursue is too strong of a verb. I resorted to aimlessness.

I think that I mistook that aimlessness, that complacency, for contentment. I deceived myself into contentment, not because I found my contentment in something greater than Disney or adventures, but because I ignored my troubles and blocked out the discontent thoughts with media, busyness, and temporary fixes. 

 I settled. Settled for a dulled soul and distracted mind. Instead of facing my disappointment and shortcomings, I went on Instagram and browsed pictures of Disney. Instead of puzzling out my thoughts and talking to God, I planned the future and dwelt on what might come. 

That's not contentment, not godly contentment. 



What is godly contentment, then? 

I believe godly contentment to be satisfaction in Jesus, untainted by our circumstances. Contentment is to find joy in Jesus in times of excitement, plenty, normality, or struggles. Contentment is much more about Jesus than it is about what we do or do not have. 

I also find that contentment leads to action. Because contentment focuses on the sufficiency of Christ, it will lead us to follow Christ's ways and kingdom. Contentment isn't sitting still and feeling good about our place in life. Contentment is standing up, no matter how hard it is, and living in a way that worships Jesus. It is a life of action, not reaction. 

"Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith."

1 Timothy 6:11-12



I can't help but think of the scene in The Incredibles where Helen realizes that Bob is not on a business trip. She assumes that he's off with some other women and starts to melt in tears and self-pity.

Edna Mode, then, hits Helen on the head with a rolled up newspaper.

"Go, confront the problem. Fight! Win!"

After living in Disney for almost five months, I came home this week.
I already miss Disney.

People often ask me how I liked my experience at Disney. I'm never sure how to reply. How can I contain in one small-talk appropriate sentence how exciting and challenging and wonderful and lovely and hard and, well, magical my experience at Disney was? Where do I start? How can I finish?

I usually just reply with something simple, something like, "It was magical- everything and more."

In between each of those words, however, is a plethora of stories and moments. That sentence bursts at the seams with emotions and light and friendships. It is a true sentence, but it is much more.

If I could give a longer answer, though, it would go something like this:



It brought excitement into my life. 



I am a homebody. I didn't go away to college. I don't just love independence and adventure. My perfect afternoon involves cats, coffee, and Netflix.

Disney changed that. Suddenly, I lived on my own in a huge and adventurous world. Epcot was literally in my backyard. Animal Kingdom was within my reach on any day. I didn't have school or necessary engagements or pre-existing rhythms to tie me down.

I could do whatever I wanted.

So I learned how to fly.

Okay, so I didn't fly (much), but I did learn the art of spontaneity and adventure. I found joy in abandoning the systematic way of living and letting each day unfold with beauty.


It challenged me. 


Whereas the independence of Disney gave me lots of opportunities to have fun, it also presented some challenges. It was hard for me, a girl who lived with my parents most of my life, to do things like cook all of my meals, buy all of my groceries, and balance the craziness of life in a new city. I was thrown into an adult world- one with a very good escape place, though- Walt Disney World.


It showed me love.

I treasure the friendships that I made throughout the program. In a place where no one knows anyone else, no one knows what they're doing, and no one wants to be alone, friendships happened very quickly. Everywhere I went, I made friends and saw friends. It surprised me how often I'd run into someone I knew in a place as large as Disney World.

The deepest friendships that I made throughout the program made the whole experience magical. These friends made me laugh at 4:00 a.m. after getting off of a shift. They made the holidays away from home merry. They helped me understand what friendship really is.


It made me wonder. 


Disney made me wonder what different paths of my life would look like. It made me wonder at other people's stories. It gave me wonder for different cultures. Disney produced in me wonder at the grace of God and the faithfulness of the gospel. Disney made my heart wonder in joy at the bonds of family and friends.

With open eyes and a joyful heart, Disney taught me a way of wonder- both the questioning kind and the awe-inspired kind.


It made me work hard. 

In case you thought that the Disney College Program was a giant vacation, think again. We all work very hard. CPs get the worst and often the longest hours of any Cast Member. This means working long days into the wee hours of the morning, even on the holidays. A very typical shift for me started at 17:00 and ended at 2:00 (yes, we use military time).

The job itself wasn't always easy and fun, but it taught me how to genuinely care about my work and how it affected the guests. It taught me to put aside my personal problems for the sake of the guests.


It opened my eyes to magic.


Here's the part where I cry when typing out this post. Living in and working for Walt Disney World showed me magic. The magic of stories, love, togetherness, quality, imagination, drive, and a little bit of pixie dust.

Being able to call Magic Kingdom my home means the world to me. Being a small part of hundreds of thousands of vacations makes me smile! Working for Mickey Mouse will forever be one of my most magical experiences, one that I will treasure forever.



So, yes, Disney was magical- everything and more.

Princess Hannah

p.s.- many more Disney posts are to come. In fact, the whole month of January is dedicated to updating y'all on my Disney Adventure! Comment below anything you'd like to know more about. And thank you all for supporting me on this journey!