14 years ago, I came alive.
After Mom and Dad put me to bed, 5-year-old me opened my eyes and prayed for the eyes of my heart to be opened. I guess I saved important decisions for bedtime thinking. Not much has changed.
I don't remember what led me to this decision. I don't remember many of the thoughts leading up to the night I prayed on my bed in the dark. God called my soul, though, and I answered.
I didn't stop at the ABCs of faith. I don't think that I even went over those steps. I simply recognized that without Jesus, I am dead. Without God's grace, I will struggle and struggle without true life. I wanted to do life with God.
14 years ago, God adopted me into His family. He took away all of my sins (sins like stealing candy every day while Mom slept) and clothed me with his goodness. He claimed me forever as a loved daughter of God. He is still claiming me.
What makes my heart smile even more is what I prayed after I received new life. I prayed that God would come and change every aspect of my little life. I realized that being God's princess meant that I would live differently. I would obey Him with all I am.
I prayed over everything in my 5-year-old life including obedience to my parents, love for my sisters, faithfulness (aka, not complaining) in school and dance, and joy in church. I don't distinctly remember everything, but I remember that the prayer lasted for, what seemed to me then as, eternity.
I treasure these fragments of memories. They remind me that nothing has changed. Every day, God still challenges me (and you) to surrender everything we have to Him, not because of some meaningless rule-book but because WE HAVE NEW LIFE IN CHRIST. Won't we want to walk step-in-step with Him?
14 years later, I prayed again. I rejoiced in how far God has brought me. Oh, He has done marvelous things! I surrendered the things in my 19-year-old life to Him. He is trustworthy. He is the Life-Giver. He is worthy.
Step by step, let us surrender to His will and ways, not because of guilt or routine but because of His life that shine in every aspect of our being. Let us, in light of our adoption into God's family, rejoice in how we can live grace in everything.
I guess the theme of this blog started 14 years ago where I prayed for the first time to live out grace in everything. Let us not give up.
Princess Hannah
No
What a beautiful story about faith, Hannah! I hadn't really started praying until roughly five years ago, and while it was for a kind of selfish-last minute reason my twelve-year-old self prayed, I continued on doing it because one, it felt good, and two, I held the ability to communicate with someone about everything. Thank you so much for sharing this. ^.^
ReplyDeletexoxo Abigail Lennah
This is the sweetest post, Hannah :) <3
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