We live in a busy world.
We live in a loud world.
And these things don't make the world bad. I love how life always moves and always speaks, for work creates beauty, and words give love. But I discovered this week that I need more than satisfying schedules and gratifying words.
This week I discovered the beauty of silence.
I sat on my bed last Sunday afternoon, tired from trying, ready to keep trying, and trusting in Jesus. (Yes, I feel the confusion going on here.) Sunday brings me so much joy, and usually prayers bloom out of me during the long afternoon, but last Sunday, I couldn't find the energy to form words. And I didn't feel the need to say them.
And so I just sat there with Jesus. I reminded myself of His wonderful character and believed in my identity in Him. I didn't say anything. I didn't go through the list of prayer requests I built into my mind. I didn't mentally work through all of the events and thoughts from the past week. I just sat there.
It was enough to stay silent in Jesus' presence.
I imagined that the disciples sat with Jesus in silence many a night. I can see them sitting around a fire at night, their feet sore from a long day, their minds unable to grasp Who sat with them, and their hearts full of questions about the day, about the journey, and about Jesus. I can feel them start to utter these complaints, doubts, and questions when they stop. They look at Jesus. And they decide that it is simply enough to sit in silence for tonight.
I've gone a long time thinking that I needed to express every thought, write every idea, and pray with complete sentences. When I drive alone, I turn on the music. When I shower, I pray through the prayer requests I've stored up for the day. When I sit in my room, I'm always thinking, planning, and processing out loud, or at least with loud thoughts. I didn't develop the habit of staying quiet every now and then to sit with Jesus and examine my soul.
But after the silence of Sunday, my soul feels a bit more. My heart beats a bit more. And my mind rests a bit more. Sitting with Jesus changed the way I thought about life. For after that afternoon, I realized that I didn't have to come before God with many words or a focused heart. I could give Him my silence with just as much worship as I give Him my song. I could give Him my confused, tired, and trying heart with joy rather than shame.
The silence in my soul is a welcoming place now. And God wants to move in your silent moments as well. Will you take the challenge with me over the next few days to set aside five minutes (give or take, because we will not be legalistic about this) daily to simply sit with Jesus in silence? Will you turn off your phone, stop dwelling on those thoughts that never seem to leave, and start reminding yourself of Who God is and who you are in Him? Will you come to Him as you are, knowing that He is enough? Will you learn to welcome the mystery of vacancy and the wonder of the quiet minutes?
As I finish this post, sitting in the silence, I feel content and thankful. Not because I had a great day, not because I have it all together, and not because I feel spectacular about things. I don't. But I know that Jesus is with me and loves me right now in the silence. And that is enough.
Comment below if you have ever sat in silence. Also, I know our lives are so busy and loud, but can you share a recent moment where God broke through and showed grace in little or big ways?
Thank-you so much for reading my heartbeat today!